{"id":297,"date":"2021-04-22T22:14:59","date_gmt":"2021-04-22T22:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/?page_id=297"},"modified":"2021-04-22T22:14:59","modified_gmt":"2021-04-22T22:14:59","slug":"the-third-shout","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/?page_id=297","title":{"rendered":"THE THIRD SHOUT"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Enod fell and\nsmacked his forehead on one of those giant metal nails keeping the railroad\ntracks secured. The rails weren\u2019t far from where he lived with his brother\nBilpie and sister Martha in a cabin in Montana. In a photon second, he\nexperienced his first awakening, and the idea of plasticizing cow turds glowed\nin his mind immediately.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bump on\nhis head did not subside.  <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

He collected\nand stored the dried remains and found a market for his idea in highway gift\nshops. His sister Martha had given him the plasticizer for his birthday. He\ncalled his company \u2014The Last Shout. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ideas to\naccentuate the business woke him at four A.M. every morning. He diversified, plasticizing\nthe last shout of chickens, elk, bear, and of course, himself. He gave the\ncreations names, like Noah or Barbalon. It was a living. The bump on his head\ndid not go away. It began to grow.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

One night he dreamt of dinosaurs. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Determined, each day he went out to dig. In the\nheat of the summer, in a lonely canyon, he found his dream\u2014Rex. Highly excited,\nhe stumbled his skull into the beast\u2019s cranium. Enod experienced his second\nawakening. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bump on his head bulged larger and stayed\nthat way. With pick and shovel, and brush and gentle blowing, he uncovered what\nhe was most after, Tyrannosaurus Rex\u2019s fecal remains. He plasticized the\nenormous turds before the archeologists could infiltrate the site. Those kooks\ncould have the bones; Enod wanted the real treasure. The aftermath. The last\nshout.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The\nTyrannosaurus poop was in limited supply, of course, but Enod was resourceful. Martha\nand Bilpie helped. They amplified the small cache of ancient swank by making\ncomputer-generated posters of Rex gooching out a truckload onto a busy street. Enod\ntook the giant turds on tour. He made molds and sold mock turds made of plastic\nor rubber. Kids ordered beds shaped like Rex\u2019s turds. Every bed came with the\ncaption, \u201cYou can sleep as sound as a turd tonight.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rubber Rex\u2019s designed\nto extruded brown Playdough brought new meaning to young people\u2019s lives. The\nbutt of every toy read, \u201cThe Last Shout.\u201d <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

After\nChristmas of that year, because of his silly success with turds, Enod and his\nkin became millionaires.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no one\never suspected that Enod had also become an intellectual freak with a\nhorrendously high IQ due to his awakenings. He wrote papers, was peer-reviewed\nand became the top authority on turds in\nthe world<\/em>. An archeologist in Australia called on him to identify a\nmysterious fecal deposit found in the desert. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enod and\nBilpie left Montana for Australia, where Enod found a very simple turd he could\nnot identify. In a faint, he fell backward and knocked his noggin from behind. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bump on\nhis forehead receded, and suddenly the whole matter of turds was foreign and ridiculous.\n<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bilpie\nscooped Enod up, and returned him to Montana, where he and Martha bang Enod on\nthe forehead every day, waiting for the third awakening.  <\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Enod fell and smacked his forehead on one of those giant metal nails keeping the railroad tracks secured. The rails weren\u2019t far from where he lived with his brother Bilpie and sister Martha in a cabin in Montana. In a photon second, he experienced his first awakening, and the idea of plasticizing cow turds glowed […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":243,"menu_order":2,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-297","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/297","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=297"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/297\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":298,"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/297\/revisions\/298"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/243"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/platoonofsparks.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=297"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}